New Traditions
by PaulsenKay
Summary: Originally written for Darvey Secret Santa 2019. Donna's dad dies a few days before Christmas; Harvey helps her through grief, while also making sure they celebrate their first Christmas together as a couple.


_**Originally written for Darvey Secret Santa 2019. Prompt by May (darveyscactus): Donna's dad dies a few days before Christmas; Harvey helps her through grief, while also making sure they celebrate their first Christmas together as a couple.**_

_**Lyrics are from Sleeping at Last's "Snow". **_

_The branches have traded  
Their leaves for white sleeves  
All warm blooded creatures make ghosts as they breathe_

_Scarves are wrapped tightly like gifts under trees_

_Christmas lights tangle in knots annually_

_All families huddle closely  
Betting warmth against the cold  
All the bruises seem to surface  
Like mud beneath the snow_

_So we sing carols softly  
As sweet as we know  
A prayer that our burdens will lift as we go  
Like young love still waiting under mistletoe  
We'll welcome December with tireless hope_

"Harvey Specter, have you ever wrapped a present in your life?"

Donna was standing over him as he tried to fold the corners of the paper, resulting in a crooked mess.

"Of course I have!"

"I'll rephrase. Have you wrapped a gift past the age of seven?"

He opened and closed his mouth and shrugged. Donna laughed, sitting next to him on the couch.

"You're impossible."

She took over, cutting the paper so it fit the side of the box perfectly and sealing it with a discrete piece of tape.

"I'll wrap. You do gift bags."

"Isn't it supposed to be the thought that counts?"

"Yes, but good presentation doesn't hurt."

He shook his head with a smile as he moved to the pile of shopping bags by the hotel room door. Donna was all about the details, down to the gift wrap. It was one of the many things he loved about her, but she'd taken it to the next level with Christmas. He should have seen that coming- when she still worked at his desk, she would set out carefully placed twinkle lights and tiny trees at her cubicle as soon as December 1st rolled around.

There had been many Christmases he'd been alone, some with his family, but never with Donna. It was a holiday that felt too intimate to share when they were keeping each other at arm's length, and when he thought of last Christmas, it felt a world away. A world where they only acknowledged each other with a quick "Merry Christmas" text. A world where they didn't have rings on their fingers. He liked this world better.

He started rummaging through the bags, attempting to separate the gifts by person.

He laughed as he pulled out tiny pajamas with the Shakespeare quote, _though she be but little, she is fierce,_ stitched into the front, and added it to the pile that was towering high above the others.

"Do you think you got enough for Lucy? She might start to think we don't love her."

She smirked at him as she sealed her box with a bow, "I won't apologize for spoiling our goddaughter."

They hadn't gotten to see her (or any of their New York friends) as much as they would have liked. They had gotten swept up with working at the clinic in Seattle, but as the summer months passed, Mike decided to expand so that they'd have an office on each coast. It had been the perfect storm of events: Oliver, from Nathan's clinic, was interested in moving back to the West Coast. Mike was appointing him to manage the Seattle headquarters, and he and Rachel would return to New York to start the branch there and be closer to her family.

Harvey remembered when Mike had sheepishly come to tell him the news, worried he'd be angry after moving all the way across the country only months before. But Donna and Harvey jumped at the chance to join them, eager to unite everyone back in the city where it all started- but without the tumult that came with working at the firm. They would relocate shortly after the new year, so they packed the holidays with a whirlwind trip: a week in New York to look for a new apartment and celebrate early with her family, who would join them from Connecticut. After that, traveling to Boston for Christmas and returning to the city for Louis' infamous New Year's Eve party.

They had gotten into a natural assembly line, with Harvey grouping the gifts and handing them to Donna to wrap. Her phone rang, buried under the gift pile and she scrambled for it, holding the phone to her ear as she curled a ribbon.

"Hey mom, are you on your way? We got a little delayed on the wrapping but we'll be ready by the time you-"

She was abruptly silent, causing Harvey to look up from his sorting. Maybe they had car trouble, or there was bad traffic. He quickly realized something was very wrong, as her scissors dropped to the table with a sharp thud.

"What happened? How did he…"

He moved to the couch and watched as her eyes started to get glassy.

"Okay. You'll call me back as soon as you get home?"

She took the phone from her ear and hung up, sliding it slowly to the table. She was frozen there, mouth open, hands clutching the edge of the couch cushions.

"What's wrong, Donna? Are they not coming?"

She didn't look at him, her eyes cast down at the phone. "My dad is…he's gone."

"What?"

"He's gone. He collapsed on the way out of the house and they took him to the hospital, and he didn't even make it out of the ambulance."

Her words were measured, slow, repeating what she'd heard to try to make sense of it.

"Donna, I'm so sorry."

He reached for her hand, taking it softly in his. He had never seen her like this- frozen, fragile, as if she might shatter into a million pieces. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go, but he let her process first, the words slowly sinking in.

They sat there in the stillness for what felt like forever, until she finally turned to look at him, her eyes filled with panic and hurt.

"I…I don't know what to do."

She was the woman who knew everything. Who said the right thing, every time. Now, she had no answers.

"I know," he said, and opened his arms in an invitation. "I know."

He saw the tears start to spill over and suddenly she was in his arms, collapsed against his chest. She was clinging to his jacket like a life raft, and he simply tried to hold her as tightly as possible to keep her afloat. He looked around them at the ribbons and shiny wrapping paper and pressed his lips to her head, his hand drawing circles on her back. A lump formed in his throat, knowing that she was feeling a sense of loss he knew well, and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

_Let our bells keep on ringing  
Making angels in the snow  
And may the melody disarm us  
When the cracks begin to show_

_Like the petals in our pockets  
May we remember who we are  
Unconditionally cared for  
By those who share our broken hearts_

"Hey."

Harvey announced himself so not to startle Donna, who was standing at the kitchen counter, staring blankly at the stove.

"Hey. Did you talk to Marcus?"

"Yep. I told him we can't make it, under the circumstances."

She sighed, resting her hands on the counter. "I'm sorry, Harvey. I know how much you were looking forward to this."

"Donna, please. This is more important. Plus, we worked something out. He's going to bring the kids into the city before we leave so we can celebrate with them. The festivities will just last a little longer, that's all."

She tried to smile at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thank you, Harvey."

After she'd gotten the news, they got up at dawn the next day to drive to her parents' home in Connecticut. As Donna and her mother planned the memorial service (something small at home, as they knew Jim would have wanted) Harvey tried to do whatever he could to be helpful. From experience, he knew that nothing would ever make this better, but he could at least take some tasks off of their list.

"You had a pretty big crowd for the memorial, even with the holiday."

"We did." She slid onto one of the barstools at the counter, letting her chin rest on her hands. "I can't believe Christmas is tomorrow. I almost forgot all about it. I have to make sure I get the gifts for Marcus' kids wrapped, and I never picked up Rachel's-"

"Donna." He moved behind her, running his hands over her arms. "You don't need to worry about that right now."

She sighed. "My dad and I always used to drive my mom crazy the night before Christmas."

"How come?"

"She was so particular about her cooking schedule and setting the table the night before and not touching the desserts until the day of. He and I would go out on the morning of Christmas Eve to pick out a gift for her, because he _always _waited until the last minute. We'd get home and all the cookies would be out on the counter cooling." She laughed, leaning back to rest against his chest. "We would both take one and then he would try to rearrange the cookies so she wouldn't notice the missing ones. He always got caught, every single year."

Her eyes scanned across the empty counter and her voice was threatening to break.

"It's not like I saw him every day, and I've barely been in this house for a decade, but it was just nice to know he was here. And now…"

Harvey tightened his grip on her, swallowing slowly.

"I know. It feels empty. But that feeling will start to go away."

She turned to face him suddenly, her eyes wide. "Harvey, I didn't even think about it. Of course, it's your first Christmas without her. How could I not have remembered?"

"It's okay, I didn't expect you to."

"But you don't get to spend Christmas with your family, the first holiday after…I'm sorry."

"Donna. Stop apologizing. I'm exactly where I need to be right now, and that's with you."

She turned around so she was facing him directly and wrapped her arms around him, holding on tight.

"I love you," she murmured into his shirt, "so much."

He rested his chin on top of her head, running a hand through her hair. "I love you, too. We'll get through this together, okay?"

_The table is set  
And all glasses are full  
The pieces go missing  
May we still feel whole_

_We'll build new traditions in place of the old  
Cause life without revision will silence our souls_

Two days after Christmas, they got on the road early in the morning, attempting to beat the snowstorm that was supposed to arrive that night. They had offered to stay a few more days, or to bring Donna's mother back to New York with them, but she declined, insisting that they go ahead.

"Why don't you come into the city on New Year's Day," Harvey offered, "and spend it with us before we go back to Seattle to pack?"

"I'd like that very much, Harvey." Clara wrapped him in a thankful hug, and Harvey loaded the car as Donna said her goodbyes. He got into the driver's seat, checked the rearview to make sure they were still in a conversation, and grabbed his phone.

"Hey, it's me. We're on our way."

_Let the bells keep on ringing  
Making angels in the snow  
And may the melody surround us  
When the cracks begin to show_

_Like the petals in our pockets  
May we remember who we are  
Unconditionally cared for  
By those who share our broken hearts_

As they drove through the Upper West Side, the traffic relatively light, Donna looked out the window at the snow that had started swirling around them, noticing that they were going farther than she expected.

"We passed the hotel."

"I know."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

She craned her neck to look out the window, finding nothing familiar. That is, until he turned the car onto West End Avenue and rolled to a stop. In front of them was the brownstone they'd toured on the first day of their visit, that she'd fallen in love with. There were a few other applicants, the realtor had said, and they had to act fast- but in the tumult of everything with her father, they had forgotten the apartment search completely.

"Harvey, what are we doing here?"

He put the car in park and turned to her, his lips curving into a smile. "Merry Christmas, Donna."

"Are you serious? This is…this is ours?"

He nodded.

"But I thought we lost this place. We didn't have time for the application, and…how?"

"Well, I sent our information over to Louis and he marched right over to the office to file the application. You know how persistent he is."

Her eyes were glassy as she stared up at the building, with its big bay windows and picturesque front steps. "I don't know what to say. This is amazing."

"Wait until you see what's inside."

She whipped her head at him, mouth open. "There is no way you furnished this place from Connecticut."

He laughed, taking the key out of the ignition. "No. I know better than to decorate without your opinion. But I did have two little things put in there."

"You are full of surprises, Harvey Specter."

He fished a key from his pocket and handed it over, seeing the confusion in her eyes. "Overnight shipping. I told you, Louis is nothing if not persistent."

She grabbed the key and almost leapt out of the car, Harvey trailing behind her. It was nice to see her smile, he thought, the first real one he'd seen from her all week. As she fiddled with the lock, he held his breath, hoping everything had gone according to plan.

They walked in the front door and Donna immediately stopped in the foyer, jaw dropped. The unit was empty, of course, but the living room held two things. First, a Christmas tree, decked out with tinsel and twinkling lights, with the gifts she'd wrapped sitting beneath it. And in the corner, right in the nook of the window, a baby grand piano.

"We'll have to put some furniture in here eventually, but I thought we'd start with the most important things."

He slipped his hand into hers and she squeezed it tightly.

"Harvey. It's incredible."

"You didn't really get Christmas this year, at least not on the exact day. So I thought I'd bring Christmas to you. And your mom told me how much you missed the piano when you moved as a kid, so I thought you should have one now that we've got the room."

She walked through the living room, pulling him along with her as her hand stayed firmly locked in his.

"That was part of the tradition, too," she said, running a finger over the keys, "We would get caught stealing those cookies and mom would pretend to be mad, but then dad would have me play Christmas carols and we would all sing them together."

Harvey smirked, "I know. Your mom told me about that."

She turned her attention to the tree, admiring its tasteful, beautiful decoration. "The tree is just perfect. And the presents. How did you get our presents over here? How did you get anyof this in here?"

"Let's just say I had some help from my elves."

She looked at him and felt as if her heart might burst. "This is amazing. _You_ are amazing."

"Hey, you're not the only one who can pull off a big gesture. I learned from the best, after all."

"Thank you, Harvey. For this whole week, for…everything."

She took two steps towards him and crashed her lips onto his, his hand moving to her back as the other tangled in her hair. As she reached to wrap her arms around his neck, a loud knock echoed through the near-empty house, startling them both.

"Who is that?"

Harvey smirked against her lips. "The elves."

They opened the door to reveal Mike and Rachel, holding takeout bags, gift boxes, and several bottles of wine.

"What are you guys doing here? I thought you were back in Seattle already."

"Change of plans." Rachel stepped over the threshold, taking Donna firmly into her arms. "My best friend needs me. Besides, we couldn't miss being here for second Christmas."

As they went to shut the door, they heard a familiar voice from the street.

"Coming through! Watch where you're going, we have a baby out here and they clearly don't salt appropriately on this block!"

Donna looked at Harvey, her eyes lighting up. She pulled open the door and sure enough, there was Louis, with baby Lucy strapped to him and Sheila trailing behind with arms full of boxes.

The entryway was suddenly a cacophony of hugs and greetings, and Harvey grabbed Louis' shoulder as they moved into the living room.

"Thank you, Louis. You really came through."

"You're family, Harvey. Of course I did."

An hour later, their makeshift gathering had come together, and it was a far cry from the fancy galas they had attended when they still worked at the firm.. They used the piano bench and some cushions from Louis' place as seating, the Christmas tree and a few candles for light, and Rachel displayed appetizers on plastic trays.

Louis was handing out gifts, Rachel was refilling the wine glasses, and Donna was sitting at the other end of the circle with Lucy in her lap. Harvey caught her eye and she gave him a grateful smile, patting the pillow next to her with her free hand. He walked across to join her, laughing as Lucy reached her tiny hand out to grasp at his wine glass.

"Not for you, kiddo. Too early to start with that."

As they told stories, laughed, and passed around a plate of homemade cookies, Harvey's heart felt lighter than it had in a while. He rested a hand on Donna's knee and she intertwined their fingers as Lucy went crawling towards Mike, distracted by a large metallic silver bow.

"Thank you for doing all of this, Harvey. It's exactly what I needed."

"How are you holding up?"

"You know," she smiled softly, "I'm actually okay. I can't change the fact that he's gone, but…this helps. It'll get easier."

"It will. I promise. And we've got each other. We've got…this."

She looked around, smiling at their crazy, mix-matched family, and the pain that had been weighing down on her heart started to lighten up.

"Merry Christmas, Donna."

She leaned into him, pressing a kiss to his cheek and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, Harvey."

_As gentle as feathers  
The snow piles high  
Our world gets rewritten and retraced every time_

_Like fresh plates and clean slates  
Our future is white  
New Years resolutions are reset tonight_


End file.
